This piece Value was made about the middle of March. This was after I had a significant social conflict with people I was closely associated with. I felt they showed great disrespect and disregard for me as a survivor. This moment was the last straw in many ways, because I had been limping along trying to look normal for far too long after being re-traumatized by reporting my father to his church. This was the moment I totally closed in and stopped doodling and blogging for about two months.
I just want the pain to stop.
I just want the hurting to stop.
I just want to not be seen as a fool.
I just want to believe people can value me, even when I am different.
I can not change that I am different. I value myself the way I am.
Jeanine A Thriver 
Even your pain and tears look beautiful…
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The very movement of my pen on paper calms me. I often draw the most calm looking stuff when I am the most upset. I think it is because I want to feel calm, so I draw something that is calming to me.
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Adult coloring books have become all the rage. (no X-rated, just more complicated drawings) My son game me two for Mother’s Day. One of flowers and flowers and butterflies. Some people are even having coloring gatherings, like Tupperware parties. People find it calming which explains why I love my Clifford coloring book as I color alongside my grand-daughter.
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