After I wrote up my reply in my art journal I started to maybe hope that the good in my mothers letter could be true. I printed out my blog posts “My Mothers Battle with Doubt” and “Sadomasochists number one weapon“. I planned to send them along with my hand written letter to my mother. In hopes that the part of my mother, that I know is still there, trying to fight against my father, might be able to look at truth and decide to fight back against his abuses harder.
I told my plans to my husband. He is concerned that it will open up a long drawn out emotional set of communications by letter, as we have tried in the past. He is afraid the letters will take a lot out of me, have a huge emotional effect, lead me to hope, and then drop me in a pit of disappointment, as they have in the past. Continue reading