Recent Days – an email from my DH

fc21c-dhprofileJeanine,

I wanted to send you a note and let you know that I am so impressed with how you are able to stand up to pressure these last few days. You have had really important conversations with (family member 1),(family member 2) and (family member 3), and I really appreciate that you have the ability to do it even with all the stresses that I know you yourself are under.

Your orchestration of our positive Sunday dinner conversation with the family was amazing. You are so healthy and strong and that has really been on display the last few days. I know that I have my own set of strengths and so I’m not tearing myself down when I say that I don’t think that I could do what you have been doing were the situation reversed… so thanks… thanks for being you.

(From my DH)

My reply,

Wow!  That was so sweet.  That means a lot to me!  Thank you!

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I feel like I am standing on the leading edge of the battle line between good and evil.

To me this battle against Abusers, Manipulators, and Corruption looks like the front line of an Epic Battle, like in the Lord of the Rings.

The heroes to the left of me, and the heroes to the right of me, look like everyday people.  But they possess a rare form of bravery, because each of them chose to stand and fight evil where they encounter it. Continue reading

INNER DWELLING

So much truth is written here. So much truth. So much like my life.

Re Blogged from Source: INNER DWELLING by Patricia Grace

“The ‘family’ causing the anguish, the same ones who extinguish a child’s light, continue to keep dark the horrors of her childhood throughout her adult life.

In their selfish need to maintain their own innocence, and the pretense of a family not riddled with the sadistic crimes of incest on an innocent little girl, they are completely willing to sacrifice that child’s life, her entire life. Continue reading

Retraumatized and Unraveling

Retraumatized and Unraveling, Artwork by Jeanine A Thriver
Retraumatized and Unraveling, Artwork by Jeanine A Thriver

I was retraumatized after reporting my fathers incest and sexual abuse of me to his church leaders.  The why’s and how’s and specifics of that I will not go into here, it is too big of a topic. Continue reading

Be patient… I am healing here.

Be Patient I am Healing hereI have come to know of a Heavenly Father who can love me and comfort me.  Who gives me strength, courage and faith.

But as I struggle to know my Heavenly Father it is a difficult process when my earthly father only showed me abuse.  In this process of healing many well meaning people have tried to comfort me with LDS and Christian Cliches.  Though well meaning, these cliches served as a source of their own trial.

These Cliches are sometimes called “Bumper Sticker Sayings.”  These saying sound good on the surface, and are easily repeated over and over, such that the very prevalence of the sayings gives validity to the phrase.

But these saying fail to truly catch the beauty of the Lords plan and his deep love. Continue reading

HOW TO REACT TO CHILD ABUSE

Believe Abuse Survivors 2

I just read this post HOW TO REACT TO DISCLOSURE

These are my comments.

Wonderful post!!! You are spot on, a child internalizes the reaction to their reporting! We do need to educate the public on how to react when a child reports.  People need to know how to react to child abuse. Continue reading

Love Heals Traumas

courage edited2
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on. It is going on when you don’t have strength.” Courage and Strength ~ Doodle by Mia Thriver

I don’ think there is any short cuts to healing.  Sometime when we get past the pain of healing we sum up the healing in phrases that sound good, and simple.  It seems we think to ourselves, if I could just impart this new gained wisdom to the next survivor down the path then they will not have to wade through the pain I just went to to understand this.  But that would be a short cut.

I believe there is really only one path towards healing and that is one of love, caring and understanding. Continue reading