Marginalizing the Abused


unfairly accused offenderWhen a person who is well liked and well-respected in the community is accused of horrific behavior that the community prefers not to believe.  The perpetrator provides the community with exactly what it wants in order for it to look the other way.  Believing that the complainant is “crazy” gives the community the excuse to marginalize the victim and the disclosure, all the while showing support to the “unfairly” accused offender. – Boz Tchividhian

The above quote can be found here.

The first paragraph of this post speaks so directly to my life of being raised by my pedophile father that it bring on anxiety to read it… it is spot on! And it is the WORST part of sexual abuse.

I read the first paragraph to my husband. It was so real to my life, he thought I wrote it myself. I blogged about this post. (this blog post was lost)

[…] offender. ~Doodle by Mia Thriver, The below text is from the blog post “Marginalizing the abused: Six ways survivors are treated as insignificant.“ “He has worked hard to convince everyone that I am crazy.”  These were the words of a […]

This post was on Mia Thriver and was lost when that blog went  down.  At the end of the above pin back it says.  “He has worked hard to convince everyone that I am crazy.”  I am sure I went on to write about how that was my experience too.  I am sure I read through the article and pulled out quotes that I connected with the most, and talked about them.  This is all of the origional post that I have been able to recover of this post, from pinterest, and from google plus, and comments.



2 thoughts on “Marginalizing the Abused

  1. Families and churches seem to choose to look the other way, choosing to re-victimize the victim while keeping the criminal in the flock, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The child now woman suffers the crimes as all the others chose not to see. Yet that is as much a crime; standing around while another is bloodied, bullied or murdered and doing nothing, saying nothing, pretending it did not happen or they did not see.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, this re-victimization was awful. And it was awful that so many did not see it as re-victimization. We (my husband, me, and my therapist) felt we had good reason to suspect that my reporting my father would go a lot better this time. But it did not. It was soooo surreal, how exactly it repeated the patterns of the past. It was like I was stuck in a twisted reality half way between today, and the days when I was 12-13, with all the same patterns repeating over and over… While everyone was telling me not to be so upset… It was awful.


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