There were times I wondered… Where I wondered if my human spirit was strong enough. When the pain of it all was so great I did not feel like I could get through it. And still, now….. The pain threatens to take me back over… Little things.. Like thinking of my family members whom I would love to have a good relationship with. But relationships are two-sided…. I can not have a good relationship on my own.
We have been battling this battle for so long. This battle against PTSD onset by Childhood Sexual Abuse. I say we, because it has effected my whole family, it has been a family fight. I have been in just over four years of therapy. But you know, we see the difference in us, my husband and I. He has been in therapy too, he had a lot of things to grow past too.
So we walk out of pain, and we look at… our future… We are starting to have an idea of what we want to do with it…. And there is goodness in that.