The Muffin Effect

MMama3I am resisting the temptation to go into a long email explaining all the symptoms of aluminum poisoning I have. Long story short, I had a major house fire and 4 miscarriages in a year and a half, and have not mentally recovered. During this stressful time I took to making my favorite comfort food, all the time, muffins, from store bought mixes. I have made so many muffins my children call me the muffin mom or muffin woman.

I can’t keep organized for anything. I have stopped even scheduling anything but the most important appointments because I can not remember them. The list just goes on…. I remember my mom throwing away the pan she cooked with the most when I was a child, and the look of dread on her face as she did it. I asked her why and she told me it was aluminum, un (I cant think of the word) coated, and she had just learned it was toxic. Needless to say I wonder if my whole life has been effected by aluminum poisoning.

In reality I am hiding in the closet of my home trying to regain who I am, and feeling lost. Right now I am in the middle of buying my dream home (or as close to it as we can afford), and rather then being productive, I am shut down. The stress level is high. A while ago I found that I could cope with these symptoms by avoiding any and all stresses possible, in this way I don’t get too stressed. But I am not getting anything done to help me move to the #1 most important goal achievement of my married life, my dream home.

The Muffin Mama

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2 thoughts on “The Muffin Effect

  1. Wow, it is interesting for me to read this post from 2009. That was just before I moved to the home we live in now. That was just before I started to have unexplained crying fits at night. That was just before I started going to therapy and facing the abuse of my past. I think you are spot on! Those down days are needed for mental health breaks.

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