At the end she asks “What is your worldview and how did you arrive at it?”… Below is my answer.
Like LDS Article of faith #1 I have found through my own soul searching that I DO believe in God the Eternal Father, and in his son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost. I discovered that this was my strong foundation at age 15 when no other foundation made sense to me. Age 13-15 is the time my world view changed the most dramatically over my life time. Other then the initial investment that my parents made in my charetor in the formative years of 0-5, and other then my maturing as I grow older and hopefully wiser. Those changes of life were more gradual, and natural, but the ages of 13-15 were a life roller coaster of extremes in world views for me.
The story starts with a world view shattering event.
My oldest sister (Whom I was very close to, whom I revered as not only being older but also wiser. Whom always had the right answers to everything in life. Much like Laura from the little house on the prairie desired to be like Mary, Dawn seemed to always know exactly what was the best thing to do) Dawn left the LDS church for a fundamentalist break off of the LDS church. It matters not the name of her church, it is a small break off not very well known even among the fundamentalists, it is most defiantly not FLDS. This group was polygamist, and they do live communally. Two other major factors were part of this paradigm change. Not only did Dawn leave out church but in the same year Waco happened. I remember reading a Time article about a Waco member named Julie, who loved horses. Her story was so much like my own sister, to me it was almost like loosing my own sister. Then came the important part of processing my parents reactions.
“Dad” I said “I am afraid…. I am not sure I believe in the LDS church any more. I am not sure I even believe in God any more. My whole world is a mess and I am confused. I don’t want to just want to walk around like a religious lemming following what ever is ‘said’ to be right. I want to know Dad. I want to know what is truth, for myself. I am afraid as I walk down this path that I will find I believe differently then you and Mother. I am afraid that you will feel I am lost. I do not think I will be lost, if I have followed my own beliefs. But I do not know what my beliefs are, I need to learn and research and find out what my beliefs are.”
“Jeanine” my dad replied….
Ooppss out of time, got to run off to a family dinner. How’s that for a cliff hanger :).